You can’t do this anymore. You’re stronger than most have ever had to be, but inside you swing between anger and helpless shame, that is when you let yourself feel anything at all. You keep doing that same thing over and over again—maybe drinking, drugs, sex, rage, self-harm—and you hate it…but on the other hand, hasn’t it been more reliable than anything or anyone else? You ask into that inner darkness “why am I like this?” “what if they find out?” and “can I keep this up?” but all you get in reply is a desperation to leave it all behind, quickly countered by a familiar fear: maybe this is the best I deserve or am ever going to get.

You want to wake up content, present, happy, and whole. To move through your day with nothing to prove, defend or hide. To feel the lifting lightness of relief, free from the prison of who everyone thinks you are or needs you to be. Can you imagine that? Can you even let yourself? Maybe you need help to even know what that might look like.

If you’re a guy—and especially a gay guy—dealing with addiction, trauma, identity issues, grief from fractured relationships, confusion around sex and intimacy, or anxiety and existential confusion about your faith & and sexuality (phew!), I want to help you.