Jumping back into the dating pool after taking some time off can feel daunting. Heck, it can truly BE daunting. Whether you've been spending time focusing on self-improvement, healing from past relationships, or simply enjoying your own company, it's normal to feel a mix of excitement and anxiety around putting yourself back out there again.

To help support you and boost your confidence while also maintaining an open perspective, here are some of my favorite dating affirmations to keep in mind as you navigate the dating world once more.

Affirmation: "I am a catch, and anyone who cannot see that is not worth my time."

This affirmation is here to remind you of your inherent worth and value. It's easy to get caught up in trying to impress others or feeling discouraged by rejection, but remember: you bring such unique qualities and experiences to the table just like everyone else. The right person will recognize and appreciate what you have to offer. If someone doesn't see your value, it's a reflection of their limitations, not yours. 

Affirmation: "The individual aspects of myself and my life are worthy of time and attention."

I know that your interests, passions, and especially your life journey at large are all integral parts of who you are. The person you’re dating should see that too. This affirmation encourages you to celebrate these aspects of yourself rather than downplaying them to fit someone else's desires or expectations. Share your authentic self with potential partners, and remember that the right person will be interested in getting to know all of you, not just a curated version.

Affirmation: "Finding a partner takes time regardless of how you search. If it's taking longer than I expected, that does not mean I’m failing."

It's super easy to feel discouraged if you don't find a connection right away. Raise your hand if you’ve ever told yourself that if you don’t find someone in 24 hours you’re not trying anymore. Just me? But this affirmation is here to remind you that in reality, meaningful relationships practically always take time to develop. Everyone's journey is different of course, and there's no set timeline for finding love, but if it is taking time, that’s not a fault in any way. Be patient with yourself and the process. Focus on enjoying the experience of meeting new people rather than rushing towards a specific outcome.

Affirmation: "My body is not a hindrance or disgusting; it is one of the least interesting things about me."

We live in a world that more often than not, places too much emphasis on physical appearance. So instead, this affirmation helps to shift your focus to what truly matters. Your body is important, yes, in that it carries your personality, intellect, and amazing spirit – all of which are far more fascinating and important in forming genuine connections. If you can, embrace your body as it is now, and remember that the right person will love you and be attracted to you for your whole package–both inside and out.

Affirmation: "I am allowed to close or leave the dating apps whenever I want to."

Dating should be as close to an enjoyable experience as possible, but certainly not a chore. This affirmation is here to remind you that YOU are in control of your dating journey, just you. So, if you're feeling overwhelmed or burnt out from scrolling and swiping, it's okay to take a step back. Your mental health and well-being should always come first. Taking breaks when needed can help you approach dating with renewed energy and enthusiasm.

Final Thoughts

Remember, affirmations are meant to be immersive and repeated. So that means, get it deep into your psyche. Maybe write these out on post-it notes and stick them to your mirror. Or perhaps put one on the dashboard of your car. The more you see them the more you’re likely to get them stuck in your head and repeat them to yourself. Affirmations are most effective when repeated regularly and internalized. 

Another key is if these don’t fit you right or they don’t “sound” like you or “feel” like you, rephrase them, rework them, recreate them. If you can get these affirmations into your own words, with your voice, they will go much further toward reaching their intended purpose.

Then, as you step back into the dating world, keep these positive statements in mind. Chances are they will help you maintain a healthier mental perspective, boost your confidence, and help you approach dating with a feeling of authenticity and self-respect. Happy dating y’all! Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!

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If you're looking for other articles I've written for QueerPsych, you can find them here! Or, if you want to talk more about this topic, I'd be happy to chat with you in my DMs on Instagram. You can find me at @thefriendineverwanted.

Resources Cited:

[1]Spectrum Health & Human Services: The Unexpected Benefits of Crafting

[2]Healthline: How Meditation Benefits Your Mind and Body

[3]Zen Founder: Want Flow? Mindful Exercise Enhances Focus, Pleasure, and Creativity