As autumn leaves turn golden and the air grows crisp, many of us begin thinking about holiday gatherings. For the LGBTQIA+ community, traditional Thanksgiving celebrations can be complicated. The holiday’s historical roots are steeped in colonialism and the erasure of Indigenous peoples, making it a challenging tradition to embrace.

But that doesn’t mean we can’t celebrate! As a Queer person committed to social justice, I’ve come to love the idea of reimagining Thanksgiving in a way that celebrates chosen family and Queer joy. This is where Queer Friendsgiving comes in—a joyful, inclusive celebration of Queer identities and community care. In this post, I’ll share how to host a Queer Friendsgiving in 2024, honoring our identities, embracing diversity, and creating new, meaningful traditions.

Inclusive and Diverse Dinner Invitations

When hosting a Queer Friendsgiving, the guest list is where the magic begins. To create a truly inclusive atmosphere, cast a wide net by inviting people from diverse backgrounds and experiences. Consider inviting LGBTQIA+ friends, as well as people who may be exploring their identities or those in your community who may need support.

The beauty of Queer communities lies in our diversity, and a Friendsgiving is an opportunity to build a chosen family through new and unexpected connections. You might invite your extroverted friend who knows everyone in town or the quiet coworker who's exploring their gender identity. A diverse mix of guests ensures an evening of deep connections, shared stories, and lasting memories.

A Feast of Cultures: Reimagining the Thanksgiving Menu

In 2024, we’re moving beyond the traditional Thanksgiving meal. Instead of a single roast turkey and mashed potatoes, a Queer Friendsgiving should be a vibrant potluck celebrating the diverse culinary backgrounds of your guests.

Encourage guests to bring their favorite dishes from the holiday seasons of their cultures or childhoods. This isn’t just about food—it’s about honoring our roots, reclaiming holiday traditions, and connecting through the meals that nourish us. Imagine a Queer Thanksgiving menu with everything from spicy biryani and sweet potato pie to challah bread and homemade tortillas. Each dish becomes a conversation starter, a way to share part of our heritage and a reflection of our identities.

For those who might have negative associations with holiday meals, this is a chance to reinvent and reclaim them. Queer cuisine should embrace creativity and inclusivity, offering a spread as diverse and beautiful as our community.

DIY Queer-Inspired Fall Décor

Decorating for your Queer Friendsgiving can be one of the most fun parts of the celebration. Think of a table adorned with a rainbow of fall leaves, mini pumpkins painted in pride flag colors, and twinkling lights to set a cozy, celebratory tone.

Consider creating a DIY photo booth with props that reflect Queer joy and diverse cultures—maybe a glittery turkey beard or a drag queen scarecrow. These festive touches will get guests talking and set the tone for a memorable evening.

Additionally, incorporate Queer history into your décor. Maybe it’s placing cards with iconic Queer activists or creating a gratitude tree where guests can share what they’re thankful for in their community. The goal isn’t perfection but celebrating Queer identity through fun, thoughtful décor.

The Magic of Mixing Seats: Musical Chairs, Queer Style

Shake up the seating arrangements by using place cards or a sorting game to mix up who sits with whom. This will encourage new conversations, spark unexpected connections, and expand your chosen family.

For some, this might feel uncomfortable—but that's where the magic happens. Stepping outside our comfort zones often leads to meaningful interactions and growth. To ease the anxiety, include some ice-breaker questions on the place cards, like:

• “What’s your go-to karaoke song?”

• “What’s a moment in your Queer journey you’re proud of?”

Mixing up the seating adds an element of fun and encourages community building.

Share in the Cleanup Love: Community Care at Its Best

Finally, let’s talk about cleaning up—because who wants to deal with mountains of dishes alone after a fantastic meal? At Queer Friendsgiving, community care extends to shared responsibilities.

Before the event, make it clear that everyone will be involved in the cleanup process. Set up a sign-up sheet for guests to choose their cleanup roles. Maybe the early birds can help set the table, and the night owls can take care of dishes after the meal.

By sharing in the cleanup, you’re emphasizing collective care and fostering an environment where everyone is responsible for taking care of the space and each other. After all, a Queer Friendsgiving is about creating a safe, supportive environment—and that extends to the cleanup.

A New Tradition of Queer Joy and Community

In 2024, Queer Friendsgiving can become a new holiday tradition that reflects our authentic selves. This celebration is not only a meal but a radical act of love, a way to reclaim Thanksgiving in a way that honors our Queer identities, builds community, and celebrates the family we choose.

So go ahead, create your own Queer Friendsgiving tradition. Whether it’s a brunch, dinner, or a weekend-long gathering, the key is to make it your own. As you celebrate Queer joy and connect with your chosen family, you’re creating ripples of change—showing the world that Queer love and community are something to be celebrated.

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If you're looking for other articles I've written for QueerPsych, you can find them here! Or, if you want to talk more about this topic, I'd be happy to chat with you in my DMs on Instagram. You can find me at @thefriendineverwanted.