Updated: Sep 6, 2019
I made fun of people who couldn't eat dairy or gluten, until I became highly allergic to both of them. Here's a tragic tale of my breakup with Dairy & Gluten.
This is my inaugural post on my Wisdom With With blog and I'm writing a breakup letter to dairy and gluten? Yes. Read on and I'll explain why.
Dairy and Gluten, It's Time We Say Goodbye
"My goodness, we've been through it all together. Fresh sourdough bread. Our first trip to France, let's not forget the panaderías of México and Argentina, conchas and empanadas at every turn. Gluten, you are just so marvelous."
I never thought this day would come. I've been blessed by good genetics, overall great health, and tolerance of just about anything up until 15 months ago. I prided myself on living a balanced life, able to eat just about anything in moderation. A granddaughter to a dairy and wheat farmer, I believe I was just about one of the last in Los Angeles to cling to good ol' fashioned cow's milk with my coffee in the morning. What on Earth was all this hype about oat and almond and cashew milk? I waded through the noise and stuck with you, nonfat milk, until the bitter end.
As for you, gluten. My goodness, we've been through it all together. Fresh sourdough bread. Our first trip to France, let's not forget the panaderías of México and Argentina, conchas and empanadas at every turn. Gluten, you are just so marvelous. That magical bakery down the street in Atwater Village, Proof, that wafts through my nostrils when Wally and I stroll the neighborhood each morning. What will I do without you?
Dairy and gluten, you've been there for me through each and every season. What is a breakup anyways if not a chance for home cooked macaroni and cheese, pizza oozing with dairy goodness on my doorstep, and cheeseburgers dripping out either side from a freshly baked sesame bun? We've had a good run. But sometimes, my friends, good things must come to an end.
Dairy and gluten, I will really miss you. But now I have this thing called Lyme Disease. My body has become, well let's say, inhospitable to your ways. My body, now in a hyper state of inflammation, despises you. It tries to attack me from the inside out if I consume you. It's a battle I'd rather not fight so I've swapped you for a cavewoman approach to eating meat and fish and veggies and nuts and berries most days. It's a simpler life and it's working.
I relapsed on a pretzel in the wake of a breakup back in early July. I mean, what could possibly go wrong from eating a simple pretzel stick? Well, everything. I was bedridden the whole next day. Gluten, we just aren't working out.
And then there was the butter slip. I hung onto those final sticks of butter with the hope that no one would see them. I snuck about half of you into my ginger carrot all-too-healthy soup. I could always count on you to help me keep some weight on. What could possibly go wrong? Try as I might, I was bedridden once more the next morning upon awakening. I threw you away, at last, and said my precious goodbyes to the final sticks in my pantry.
I feel so much better without you. The brain fog, the fatigue, it all lifts when I don't consume you. My health is much better these days. But, just like the boyfriend you know isn't right for you, I still think about you. I remember your deliciousness. I still miss you some days but I know that we can't be together. Do you still think about me?
To all the ladies and fellas that come before me, swearing off gluten and dairy for one health reason or another, I'm sorry I ever judged you. I'm sorry I doubted you. I'm sorry I mocked you or thought you were being dramatic. Perhaps this is karma, I'll never know. The pain and suffering just aren't worth it anymore.
To those that trudge on with all the grilled cheese glory, have an extra slice of cheese or eat a few extra slices of that freshly baked sourdough bread for me. I'll miss you. Thank you for the memories.
Maybe we'll meet again but until then, I choose my health and healing.